The meaning of 'charity'

I had a bit of a blip and lost my training mojo... Firstly, starting this blog and realising just how little I know about Triathlon training blew my confidence somewhat and I was almost overwhelmed by a "What's the point?" feeling... Almost :-) In my job, I know better than that! However, then my bike was stolen... My beautiful Boardman hybrid comp that I got for a song on eBay, that I did my first Sprint Triathlon and all my training on, that I rode at least half the days a week, that I'd got a new saddle for, and a pump and bottle cage and all those little things that endeared it to me even more. It was the fastest bike I ever owned (and the most bumpy due to the necessary lack of suspension). I was mortified! I also had less than two weeks before Lincoln David Lloyd's sprint Tri, so the timing was well off too. The insurance stated 6 weeks for 'processing' (pffft) and I resolved to get a replacement ASAP on ebay. Theft being at the forefront of my mind, I began emailing all these bike sellers to see if they had proof of ownership, and viewing any frame scratches with a more than was reasonable amount of suspicion. I also breathed a sigh of relief that I had bought my last one and been given the original documents with it, without even asking, so was safe in the knowledge that that was a genuine sale. Needless to say, I lost my sense of 'charity' for a bit. I started to view charity as many seem to be viewing it these days... incorrectly but conveniently interpreted as getting something for nothing... like whoever has my bike. I'm not a charity! Anyway, questions of karma aside (being unable to identify the karmic wrong I had commited) I put my face straight and 'got back in the saddle'. I did the Race for Life (with only a tiny bike-related, not-feeling-charitable grumble in the car on the way there) in which I had no choice but to have a good time (and a good run) thanks to the fancy dress (always guaranteed to raise a smile from me!) and my bonkers running buddy Fran.

We couldn't help but be chuffed to break the half hour barrier for 5km, for the first time, in spite of mad outfits and some serious heat (though it was questionable whether it actually WAS 5km). Then I had to question the nature of my own idea of 'charity'. Yes, the Race for Life raised about £80 from my sponsors for an absolutely fantastic cause, but I couldn't claim pure altruism. It wasn't like I had suffered for it (ok the run wasn't a particularly pleasant one). I had had a good laugh, had wanted to do the run for the sake of the run itself, and I always relish the idea of having any excuse (no matter how small) to dress like a complete prat. So, moral high ground rapidly disinegrating beneath my feet, I realised it was time to stop bitching on about my bike (or at least blame genuine heartbreak for any further comments).
So, resigned to having to be a bit inconvenienced about getting a new bike, I wound my neck in and stopped bidding desperately on anything on eBay at the risk of being ripped off. I eventually found a lovely replacement, the same model as mine, for a few quid cheaper... Happy days. However, there was no way this was going to get to me in time for Lincoln Sprint Tri. So, borrowed bike quivering nervously and wondering what it had let itself in for on the rear bike rack, off I went. Setting off at 5.30am, I wondered if my lack of enthusiam was based on the fact that I knew using a different (heavier and unfamiliar) bike meant I had no hope of beating my first Tri time, or because I just simply hadn't got the novelty factor of doing my first Tri anymore (you can't beat that 'first time' feeling, whatever its a first of). There were other things too, David Lloyd's just wasn't as NICE as Woodhall, there hadn't been a novice day where you'd had a chance to meet people and get to know the route, there hadn't even been a day-before-registration opportunity. Part of the bike course was on a dual carriageway, and the run route was up-and-down laps. It all felt very impersonal, and just a bit wrong. There didn't seem to be the friendly camaraderie there had been at Woodhall. It was all a bit serious! Luckily a few people who had been at Woodhall were there, and it still felt good to finish, but not great. Now I'm thinking maybe doing Tri is like anything, like running. Sometimes you have a good one, and feel amazing, and sometimes it just seems to suck and not get any better at any part of it, but you still feel a sense of achievement, albeit a lesser one, when you finish. This all points in the direction of new-bike/new-tri as a means of testing this theory. And part of me would still love to train properly this winter ready to try and full length Tri next year. So time to find, and book, the next one then!